Po VS Aang
Description Kung Fu Panda Vs. Avatar! Masters of martial arts, these once-unlikely heroes have become heroes, stopping countless evils with their special powers! But, when Panda and Avatar duke it out, who will be left standing? Intro Wiz: Mastery of martial arts and the mystical elements that surround it can take years, centuries even, for most people to master. Boomstick: Unless you’re some kind of chosen one. Then I guess it doesn’t matter how incompetent you start off, cause you’ll be one hell of a badass by the end. Wiz: Like Po, the Dragon Warrior. Boomstick: And Aang, the Last Airbender. He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick… Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skill, to find out who would win… A Death Battle. Po Cue Hero Wiz: Ancient Chinese legends tell of an unstoppable, stoic, and completely awesome warrior who would defend the land with his un-paralleled skill and power. Boomstick: So when the old wizard guy turtle Oogway was told from GOD… or something, I guess, to finally choose the Dragon Warrior. Among the list of candidates? Mantis, the tiny but deadly insect; Wiz: Viper, the slithering, sneaky snake. Boomstick: Monkey, the acrobatic prankster. Wiz: Tigress, the fiery feline. Boomstick: And Crane, the uh… Crane. Wiz: Together, these renowned masters of the arts of Kung-Fu were known as the Furious Five. Under the tutoring of Master Shifu, the Five were almost unstoppable. Boomstick: So who would make the best Dragon Warrior? Nope, none of those well-rounded, superbly-trained masters. Oogway instead chose the bumbling fanatic, Po. Wiz: Po was born to an ordinary panda village, and as an infant, lived a perfectly normal life. That is, of course, before Lord Shen’s army tore their path of destruction directly into the Pandas, seemingly wiping them out in accordance with a prophecy. Boomstick: Holy shit, genocide? This got dark FAST. Wiz: However, during the midst of the carnage, Po’s mother managed to flee the chaos and send the little Po away in a basket down a river. Boomstick: That was the last time Po ever saw his mother, and though he didn’t know it, that memory would come back to haunt him later on. Wiz: After drifting from many places, the baby Po eventually found himself in a food basket to be delivered to the budding chef, Mr. Ping. Boomstick: Oh, AGAIN with the geese? Wiz: Now with a permanent home, Po lived a happy life and grew to be a handy cook. Though he was in an otherwise perfectly fine financial status, Po longed for something more in his life. The mundane days spent cooking and serving bored him, and he often daydreamed of being the one and only Dragon Warrior. Boomstick: So when he heard Oogway was going to be picking the guy, he was beyond excited. Even though the entire world tried keeping him out of the ceremony, he somehow made it in. Wiz: And to… well, EVERYONE’s surprise, Oogway’s decision was none other than Po himself. Boomstick: See, being the legendary one-and-only warrior destined for greatness should be a huge honor, but Po was way too shocked to actually revel in the glory. Wiz: So was everyone else, for that matter. Master Shifu in particular made it his goal to remove Po from the Jade Temple, believing him to be an error on Oogway’s part. Boomstick: This poor panda basically went through hell, seriously, everyone was a dick to him. But then Oogway died and basically said, “Yo that crazy cat dude is coming, also stop being a dick to Po, okay bye.” Wiz: Well, it wasn’t quite like that, but Oogway’s passing certainly changed something in Shifu and he finally accepted Po as his student. Boomstick: Though his training started out rocky, Shifu found out the way to motivate Po was the same way as any fat cartoon character; food. Wiz: Seemingly overnight, Po’s skill grew incredibly high, being able to hold his own against Shifu. Cue Dragon Warrior Rises Boomstick: It's that same skill that Po uses in battle to crush his foes. He is an adept martial artist, being able to hang with the best of the best, even the undead spirits of previous masters and Oogway himself.' ' Wiz: Surprisingly though, Po ISN’T a martial arts master, but rather the sole creator and user of his own style, the Panda Style. Combining traditional kung-fu with the advantages of Po’s physique, he can adapt to foes on the fly with his mostly improvised and random fighting style. Boomstick: Though he is incredibly skilled, Po usually battles by utilizing his weight in accordance with his agility. Since he’s still obese, but surprisingly quick, he can even unleash devastating belly-flops against murderous death cats. Wiz: His focus became perfectly refined, allowing him to not only catch a cannonball, but also redirect it stronger than it was originally launched. Boomstick: On top of that, he’s mastered Chi, which lets him heal himself and others. Wiz: Not just that, but as the fully-realized Dragon Warrior, Po can not only use the Wuxi Finger Hold Technique, but also travel to the Spirit Realm via his Chi. Cue My Fist Hungers for Justice Boomstick: The Wuxi Finger Hold is a quick and hilariously dangerous attack. With just two fingers, Po can banish people to another realm where they basically just float around. Until the evil boar goes and steals their souls that is. Wiz: And finally, Po can project an astral dragon of sorts with his chi, which is powerful enough to obliterate entire temples AND overwhelm a hunter whose goal was specifically to absorb as much chi as possible. Boomstick: Damn, so he blew him up? Wiz: Essentially, yes. Boomstick: Well, as impressive as that is, some of Po’s greatest feats are overcoming odds he really has no busy doing. Like the time he defeated Tai Lung, a crazed, evil warrior also trained by Shifu. Wiz: Keep in mind Tai Lung was fast enough to evade multiple spears, while chained down, as well as leap from a line of falling rocks mid-descent. Boomstick;: Which, as stupid as it may sound, is actually really damn impressive. You know what else is impressive? Po’s body! Cue Dumpling Warrior Remix Wiz: Indeed, while it may not seem like much of advantage, Po’s, er… excessive weight has created a ‘shield’ of sorts from certain attacks. Not only can he shrug off most blows from powerful warriors, but he is completely immune to attacks that target pressure points. Boomstick: And his blob-y-ness makes him a walking punching bag. That might not sound good, but when his belly comes back with the recoil of your punch, it’s gonna hurt. Bad. Wiz: His fat isn’t just good for countering, but its also a big reason why he’s so durable. He’s survived a near-direct hit from a cannonball with basically no shielding whatsoever, and survived. Though he did need some medical attention, Po was for the most part perfectly fine afterwards. Boomstick: Man, considering this guy screwed up BEING a screw up, is there anything he can’t do? Wiz: Well, while Po may be the fully-realized Dragon Warrior, he is not infallible. His emotions can get the better of him. On top of that, he isn’t a complete martial arts master, and can struggle with foes of superior power. Boomstick: And well, while he is a master improviser, he isn’t really a genius by any means. And it certainly doesn’t help that he barely takes things seriously. Wiz: Still, Po is quite the warrior and not to be underestimated. Many have done so before, and it proved to be their last mistake. Tai Lung: Who are you? ''' ''Po'': Buddy, I... am the Dragon Warrior!' '[bows over, panting from the stairs]' 'Tai Lung: [incredulous] You?' '[laughs]' 'Tai Lung: He's a panda! You're a panda! What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?' 'Po: Don't tempt me. ' Aang Cue Main Theme Wiz: Fire. Water. Earth. Air. Long ago, the four nations of the world lived in perfect harmony… '''Boomstick: Until the Fire Nation attacked and just ruined EVERYTHING.' Wiz: Although the Earth and Water nations managed to survive the unexpected carnage, the Air tribe was not so lucky. Boomstick: They kinda got completely wiped out… Except for one. Wiz: Raised in the peaceful seclusion of the Air tribe, Aang was an ordinary boy destined for greatness. From a young age, he knew he would one day be forced to take up the mantle of Avatar. Boomstick: He didn’t really have a choice, since he was in line to be the next Air Bending Avatar. Of course once his entire family was brutally murdered, he cut forward a bit in line. Wiz: One day, Aang rebelled against his destiny and fled the tribe, eventually being trapped and frozen in the frigid waters by the Water tribe. With only his trusted Bison Appa at his side, Aang was completely missing from the genocide that Boomstick: When he finally woke up, he met Katara and Sokka, a pair of siblings from the nearby Water nation. Lucky he was found by the only sensible nation in this world, huh? I mean, the Fire Nation probably would’ve just killed him on sight, and the Earth Nation is more corrupt than the government. Wiz: Well… you aren’t wrong. Aang was indeed lucky to be found by rational individuals, but more importantly, friends. As Aang struggled with the revelation that he was indeed the last of his kind, it was his friends who stood by his side to support him. Boomstick: Not just support, they’re the only reason he ever even BECAME the fully-realized Avatar. Wiz: Indeed. With the aid of his conveniently-aligned allies, Aang learned and even mastered the four forms of Bending. With his innate Avatar powers combined with the four elements at his control, Aang infiltrated the Fire Nation and eventually defeated the Fire Lord Ozai in a climatic duel for the world. Cue Ocean Spirit Boomstick: Aang’s powerset is easily his greatest advantage. With just his mind and his hands, he can manipulate water, fire, air, or uh… rocks… to do his bidding. Wiz: With each element, Aang seems to prefer a certain manner of strategy. He uses Air for push-away attacks, and to propel himself away from danger rather than directly for combat. Boomstick: His fire-bending is all-out offense, launching bursts of flames and making huge combustions to obliterate his foes. Water is a mix of defense and offense, being able to block attacks with harsh geysers and go so far as flooding out an entire city when need be. Wiz: Finally, his Earth-bending is more on the defensive side, providing reliable mineral shields and platforms with which he can manipulate the battlefield. They also make handy surprise attacks, given their conspicuous nature in the heat of a duel. Boomstick: That’s not all, though. Aang has even created special techniques for each of his bending options, like the Air Shooter, a ball of air he can ride to get around much quicker than on foot. Wiz: His Water Whip emulates two whips stemming from his arms, and his Seismic Sense allows him to read enemies’ movements via a sort of ‘radar sense’. Boomstick: Speaking of earth bending, he has a special Earth Armor technique, in which he coats his body in earthly materials, or even crystal. Cue Avatar State Wiz: As the Avatar, Aang has the innate ability to tap into the powerful Avatar State. Being an Avatar, Aang possesses the memories and skills of all previous who bore the title, and his Avatar State is this ability in action. Once initiated, Aang enters a zen-like state of knowledge, gaining far more experience and power than any other individual bender. Boomstick: In this state, he can do pretty much ANYTHING, though he always has an Air Shield up to keep himself aerial and to misdirect potential attacks. Wiz: After much training and rigorous practice, Aang even mastered the additional, lesser arts of Lightning redirection, healing, Energybending, and Astral Projection. Boomstick: With Energybending, he can quite literally strip someone of their bending capabilities completely, or give them back if he feels like being a nice guy. Wiz: Outside of his bending powers, Aang wields a staff in combat that can transform in a glider. Coupled with his Air Bending, and he can essentially fly so long as his staff is intact. Boomstick: Yeah, and it works pretty well for slapping people too. He can’t always rely on bending, so it’s a good thing he’s a well-trained martial artist. Wiz: Aang has achieved many feats during his time as the Avatar. He was able to lift a 1,300 pound boulder after intense training, flooded an entire city, tanked several building-busting blows, and defeated the all-powerful Ozai in combat. Boomstick: Pretty damn impressive, especially considering in his Avatar state he can logically replicate the feats of past Avatars, like the guy who split an island in half! Wiz: Speaking on the Avatar state, however, it is both a blessing and a curse. In this form, he is particularly vulnerable to death. As he is literally calling upon the power of all the Avatars, if he perishes, the line of Avatars is broken forever. Boomstick: And he doesn’t seem to get particularly durable in this form, either, since he almost died to a single, albeit well placed lightning bolt. Wiz: Right; Aang is still human, after all, and while he is far above that of a normal human’s capabilities, he can still be physically overwhelmed, be over-exerted, or just flat out bested in combat. Boomstick: Either way, Aang is a complete badass; once he hits that Avatar State, you’re basically good as dead. [in his Avatar state with his past-lives] Aang: Fire Lord Ozai, you and your forefathers have devastated the balance of this world, and now, you shall pay the ultimate price. Interlude Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!! Pre-Fight Jade Temple, noon Shifu stood, meditating over the pond that once held the secret to the Dragon Scroll. His senses purified with silence, the red panda sighed peacefully. His days were now practically that of retirement, as the Dragon Warrior had taken up his previous duty of maintaining the Furious Five. Down in the valley, life resumed as it always did. Shops rang out with the sound of commerce, and the air flowed peacefully throughout the busy streets. All but one small goose abided to the mundane peace. With terror in his eyes and a bolt in his heart, the messenger hurriedly flapped through the busy streets. His wild, unwieldy quacking echoed through the entire vally. “I-I… DRAGON WARRIOR! HELP!” Even miles away and above the bustling streets, Shifu’s acute ears twitched in relation to the echoing soundwaves. Loathe as he was to be disrupted from his meditation, he knew the good of the people came before his own. A few rooms over, Po excitedly chuckled to himself as he gazed upon a set of figures left by his dad. The miniature hunks of plastic depicted his own exploits in a variety of poses. Kicking, gesturing, flailing… Well, not all were supposed to be awesome, he figured. Shifu silently entered Po’s room. At one time, he may have been irritated at the panda’s childish attributes, but Po had proven himself far more worthy of respect than anyone could have imagined. “Po.” Shifu beckoned. Before his eyes, the backside of the Dragon Warrior twisted and jerked as his arms rotated and pulled from side to side. “Po.” Still, no answer. From the panda’s mouth uttered a quiet “whoooooooooooooosh” and a “Blam!” Even Po’s girth couldn’t conceal the little figures from peeking out and revealing their luster to ever-observant Shifu. “PO!” Shifu finally commanded. As though caught in a criminal act, Po instinctively twitched and turned to face his accuser. Of course, it was always Shifu. “I uh, I can explain!” Po begged. His demeanor instantly shifted, recreating the informality and wild secrecy of a teen caught participating in a particularly satisfying action. MEANWHILE Aang curiously peeked throughout the exuberant, colorful stands lined up along the road. He had seen many a strange beast in his time, but these creatures seemed far more sentient and intelligent than any before. Though he didn’t quite realize it at first, he was the first human any of the poor creatures had ever seen. Admittedly, the townsfolk were quite easy to rile up, but this time, they justified, it was reasonable. Aang himself wandered further down the street, his mind pacing; “How did I end up here? Why is that goose carrying soup? Did that bunny just scream?” As quick as a bolt, a warrior stamped his foot upon a peak overlooking the valley. His might crushed the rock, pummeling out a roar of lightning throughout the vicinity. “Your reign of terror ends here, villain!” A voice confidently spouted. Aang averted his gaze skyward, peering upon the giant panda. His declaration seemed to imply Aang was somehow in the wrong. The boy pointed to himself, utterly bewildered at the turn of events. “Me?! But I haven’t done anything! I just got here!” Indeed, his tone and demeanor utterly reeked of innocence. So much so, in fact, that Po’s confident and apprehensive attitude popped into nothingness almost instantly. “Oh. Uhh, well, I was told you were bad, so um…” The panda awkwardly explained. A moment of silence swept throughout the valley as both panda and human attempted to avoid each other’s gaze. Five whole minutes passed as the two struggled to assess the situation. At last, Aang explained, “I’m not bad at all! I’m the Avatar, I’m supposed to bring peace to the world!” He charmingly raised his hand, bending a stream of water from a nearby bucket left abandoned by a fleeing villager. “AHA!” Po victoriously roared. “Shifu said you would be able to control water with your mind! You’re going DOWN!” With his faith reaffirmed, the panda hopped off his perch, landing surprisingly well fifty feet below. “So be it. I wish it didn’t have to come to this…” Aang replied, assuming his battle stance. Po stood, resetting his footing to accommodate his unique fighting style. FIGHT! Cue The Devoted Po dashed forward, his bumbling belly bouncing back and forth. The ground nearly cracked under each of his weighty steps. The thunderous, imposing force prompted Aang to take a defensive stance; with his hands still raised, he twisted himself through the air, flipping backward. As he nimbly spun, his fingers motioned the very earth to upheave itself from the soil Aang landed, his hands still in motion. The boy’s earthly barrier materialized and solidified, forming a wall before him. As though by future-sight, its angle and positioning perfectly aligned to block Po’s attack. Still, the mineral wall shattered upon contact with the furry fist. Without a moment’s hesitation, Aang raised his left arm, clenching his fist in the process. Immediately, a pillar of concrete-like rock shot forward, smashing into Po’s face and launching him skyward. “WOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHH!” Po cried. Now airborne, he helplessly flailed his arms in a pathetic attempt to fly. Watching the bear flounder about almost prompted a chuckle from Aang, though he knew better than to leave himself open. As Po hurdled down back to earth, Aang twitched his right fingers, forming an ethereal connection to a nearby bucket of water. He crossed his right arm across his chest, swiping as though to slash an enemy in half; instead, the water hurled itself to his appendage, just in time to slam itself into Po. The concentrated liquid jammed itself into Po’s flesh like a hammer would, much to Po’s shock. His trajectory changed upon impact, launching him into a small stand and crushing various pots of food and soup. “Woah, you can make water HURT?! I mean, I knew you could like, control it, but making it actually useful? That’s awesome!” Po giddly exclaimed, oblivious to the obvious combat implications and potential death it could spell for him. Clearly struck by Po’s friendliness, Aang grinned and replied, “It IS pretty cool, huh? Watch how I can do… THIS!” The boy lifted his palms, summoning forth a sphere of liquid above him. Focusing his energy, while still maintaining his control over the substance, he thrusted his fist down, opening his palm and channeling the water into the ground. Under Aang’s influence, the water rocketed around him, forming a perimeter and gushed skyward. The array of geysers surrounded the two fighters, offering a liquid barrier for them to accommodate under. Po’s eyes illuminated his face, widening with childish glee. His demeanor remained constant, even as Aang smashed a column of rock into Po with ruthless accuracy. “T-that was awesome too!” Po’s meek voice cheered from beneath the mighty pillar. Still focused on winning the fight, Aang tapped his palm onto the soil, launching forth and creating a circular prison around Po’s body. Believing his enemy to be subdued, Aang turned away. To his surprise, the rock erupted from the inside. Within it stood Po, fist outstretched. Aang returned his attention to the panda, unleashing his staff. Po charged forward, now determined to show his skills. He evaded a forward thrust – its power amplified by a gust of wind – and smashed his shoulder into Aang. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!” Cue Hawkeye's Theme Po’s charge struck with the force of a train, rocketing Aang through a series of walls and houses. “Haha!” Po cackled. “That’s just the start of what I can do, kiddo!” Though Aang couldn’t see it at the moment, Po had broken into a little dance. “Gugh…” Aang grunted. He lifted himself from the rubble, his head spinning rapidly. “This guy is insanely strong…” The boy thought to himself. “There’s no way I’ll match him straight on...” Po approached the rubble, his sprits still jolly. Was he arrogant, or simply unaware of the battle’s gravity? Aang might never find out the answer for sure. The giant panda leapt up, raising his fist. As the fist lowered and his body descended, Aang manipulated the earth to form a spherical shell around him. “CRACCCK!” This time, Aang’s fortification had survived at least one strike; perhaps buying him enough time for a counter strike. But beneath the weighty, encompassing shield, he would be unable to utilize many options. Except, perhaps… “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH-SMACK!” Aang’s air-bending smacked itself into Po, disorienting him enough for Aang to shatter through his own shield and deliver a crushing pillar attack via earth-bending. Knowing his enemy to be stunned, Aang once more unleashed his staff and thrusted at key weak points; the neck, the gut, arms. And yet none of his strikes seemed to phase the panda. In fact, he hardly even seemed harmed by the double-bending assault. With ruthless retaliation, Po launched his fist forward; anticipating Aang’s block, he lifted his leg around the staff, then shattered it with ease upon exerting his weight. Startled by the panda’s immense strength, Aang frighteningly launched a gust of wind forward; a technique that usually bought him time to recuperate his battle plan. Not so with the Dragon Warrior, however. Though his cheek flushed, his weight anchored him to the earth with no trouble to speak of. As a harsh rebuttal, Po’s stub-like leg offered disorientation along a few more buildings to hurdle through. The stark realization of his meager comparative strength struck Aang like lightning. He knew now that he faced a force of nature, an immovable golem; but a golem still yet made of flesh. Noticing a bundle of firecrackers nearby, the Avatar launched them skyward with a breeze, then motioned his hands apart. The bundles tore open, their internal heat rising exponentially. Despite not manually being ignited, Aang’s otherworldly control willed it to do so. The two embers pulled toward Aang’s palms, gravitating around their master. With a mighty push, the flames jetted toward the advancing panda, engulfing him in flames. The entire frontward vicinity too, for that matter. “GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Po shrieked. His reaction to the combustion was immediate, although… less than sincere, perhaps? While most people would likely huddle up and burn to a crisp, Po instead ran in circles, screeching and yelping in an almost comedic manner. Aang’s puzzlement only increased. Cue Attack “Alright, try this on for size!” Aang remarked. He gestured his palms in a circular motion, its movement correlating with the weather above. In a matter of seconds, a mighty hurricane formed above the Valley of Peace, ripping and shredding apart buildings by the second. Somehow, as though by magic, Po’s body ceased to ignite. He turned, hearing the rampant destruction of Aang’s force, and felt his heart drop. “Oh. That’s definitely, DEFINITELY not good!” Po cried. Seeing his hurricane devastate the valley, Aang saw an opening to finally get some damage in on his foe. One good gust of wind - amped to accommodate for Po’s weight – launched him into the heart of the hurricane. The Avatar himself leapt into the fray, utilizing his control to dissipate any harmful winds around him. Po immediately SLAMMED into a house, its many decorative pieces clinging to his body. Aang motioned two separate areas of wind to carry a trio of concrete walls; with no hesitation, the Avatar crushed them together, smashing the house sheltering Po to bits. Aang jumped yet again, his speed boosted naturally and manually by the air. His fists bolted into Po, dragging him out of the twister and toward the solid rock below. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH! The boy had stopped his momentum with a well-timed earth platform, though Po was not so lucky. He tumbled and smashed into a ditch, his fur now terribly cut and dirty. At last, Aang thought to himself, he was gaining the upper hand. Po grasped a nearby rock, exerting a cough and buckets of dirt. “Alright kid. You crossed the line now!” Initiating his innate Dragon Warrior-ness, Po dashed forth from his spot, catching the Avatar completely off-guard. With the force of a rocket, the Dragon Warrior’s fist crushed Aang’s jaw. Yet, Po was not settling for a mere punch now; his bubbly body bounced toward his target, carrying him through the air. His leg revealed itself at last, thrusting skyward and cracking multiple bones in Aang’s back. Now with his target trapped, Po lunged his opposite leg up, then his right leg again; a rapid-fire blow that defied the very laws of physics. With one final kick, Aang flew in an arc, hurtling into a nearby wall. Po’s assault continued, smashing his shoulder into the Avatar, decimating the stone wall and hurling Aang onto the steps of the Jade Palace. Weary and weak, Aang turned to see the viridian temple glistening in the newfound sunlight. The stunning sight of the ancient building filled the young Avatar with a sense of hope; he had overcome terrible odds before, had he not? This fight was NOT lost; especially not with his trump card still yet to be played. The panda appeared once more, his pursuit unrelenting. “Any last words, evil doer?” He questioned. Once again, ego had creeped into his mind. Perhaps even justifiably so. “I…” Aang muttered. “I won’t LOSE!” Cue Avatar State At once, the boy’s body began levitating as though through sorcery. His eyes and forehead shone, illuminating the rubble and casting shade upon his own face. Around him swirled a fierce, circular tornado surrounded by water, fire, and rock. His arms and legs moved not, remaining motionless. Aang felt his voice lessen, becoming overcome with the will and knowledge of all his ancestors. “Oh. I wasn’t expecting… that.” Po’s demeanor shrunk. He stood, with no time to block the ruthless swipe of hardened flames. No longer would his enemy reply; his mind and body were now fully consumed by power. “Okay, I know we didn’t get off on the right foot…” Po quipped whilst evading multiple instantaneous rock pillars from impaling him. “But I think we could…” His gut tucked itself inside, narrowly dodging a flamethrower from Aang. “Settle this like normal people??” Po begged. Aang’s eyes stared deep into Po; his answer would be only the eruption of five flamethrowers emitting from his person, spreading out and scorching the entire valley. And yet, Po’s unexpected agility evaded Aang’s every blast. Though he could not feel frustration, Aang realized his powers would not simply catch Po off-guard. Outstretching his arms, he willed the earth to rise, creating a circular, raised dome, entrapping Po in close-quarters with Aang at last. Po attempted to deliver a spinning roundhouse; futile, as Aang’s earthbending caught the panda’s leg mid-swing. With his enemy captured, Aang pushed his palms forward, forcing the nearby earth to leap and latch itself onto the newfound dome. The Dragon Warrior felt his gut gurgle under the weight of rock. As Aang slowly approached, preparing for the finisher, his mind raced. “What would Shifu do?” He pondered. At last, he felt his arms wiggle freely. Aang had forgotten to encase his hand! There was one method left in play; he would get only one shot at it. The Avatar edged closer, his intense elemental barrier whipping and burning Po’s face by the second. Aang raised his palm, encircled by a combination of water, earth, air, and fire. No hesitation – he dropped his fist, murderous intent and all. Po’s eyes closed; his palm reached forward. This was it! His final shot… closer… closer… grip Cue Hero Aang’s clenched fist stopped, caught by Po. Despite the intense heat and crushing rock, his fingers clasped onto the Avatar’s hand. “SKADOOSH!” Instantly, a flash of light erupted from Po’s finger. The energy output decimated the earthy arena, reverting the ground back into a broken rubble. Aang felt his body go light. Had he died? He didn’t feel pain, or anything, really. His eyes opened at last. Around him floated a seemingly random assortment of buildings and artifacts. Was this heaven? Hell? No one but a turtle appeared to be resting in the far-off distance. Suddenly, a voice broke the peaceful silence. “You’re in my world now. Witness the power of the Dragon Warrior!” Po roared. His body emitted a golden glow, whose very light seemed to weaken Aang’s will. Po thrusted his palms forward, launching forth an ethereal, gold serpent. It bolted, its movement circling seemingly without reason before setting its sights on Aang. The Avatar, too, pushed his hands, summoning forth a barrier. Alas, he realized far too late – this world had no such elements for him to manipulate. As the dragon neared by the millisecond, Aang closed his eyes. As the beast entered his body, overloading his mortal form with energy, Aang only thought of the friends he would never see again. No sense of duty haunted him, or the curse of the line of Avatars. His only regret; failing to return to Katara. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Aang’s body imploded, releasing the immense chi into one concentrated blast. With it, his body flew to bits as well. The panda warrior sighed, focusing his chi to return him to his world. He had saved the valley from a great threat, but the work wouldn’t stop here. If one person with such powers had found their civilization, who else could be lurking, waiting for a moment of weakness? On Aang’s honor, Po promised he would never allow his life to be stolen doing his duty. K.O! Results Cue Kung Fu Fighting Boomstick: Is this technically child abuse, or elderly abuse? Wiz: Probably both? Anyway, Aang put up a hell of a fight, but in the end, he was simply outmatched by Po in almost every way. Boomstick: Yeah, Po is surprisingly way more impressive than Aang. He’s fast enough to cover two towns in a short matter of time, survived a CANNONBALL at nearly point blank range, then CAUGHT MULTIPLE in his bare hands without even trying! Wiz: A cannonball that size - approximately 3 feet or so, when compared to Po’s height – would likely travel about 15 meters per second, or 33 miles per hour. This being a casual reaction speed for Po, mind you. Boomstick: Aang has shown nothing comparable, and its not just speed Po trumps him in. Po is also WAY more durable, being able to tank being smashed through a giant temple with little harm. Wiz: Po is also the better fighter, as he has constantly trained with a variety of different fighting styles directly from their masters. In fact, he even defeated Kai, a warrior with thousands of years worth of fighting experience. Boomstick: Aang held his own against King Bumi, a well-experienced fighter in his own right, but he’s got nothing on Kai’s track record. Wiz: Finally, Po is far more powerful in brute force. The only real advantage Aang carried was his bending. Po had little to counter things such as air and earth bending, and if he were creative enough with it, Aang might actually have won. Boomstick: Except Aang almost never uses his bending in ways to immediately slay his foes, instead opting for either more defensive or subduing blows. Wiz: The Avatar State would be Aang’s trump card, and his island-shattering strength COULD steal him the win, but being such a slow and frail target, one good hit from Po would definitely end the match. Boomstick: And that’s not even accounting for the Wuxi Finger Hold, which would basically screw Aang from the very beginning. I guess this fight couldn’t Dragon forever, I mean, we can’t BEND the rules now, can we? Wiz: The winner is Po. Category:What-If? 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